


Hogwarts On The Net.

by planetundersiege



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 7th year, AU, And Voldemort never came back, Angst, Anime, Arguing, Bonding, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Breakups, But it will have plot, But with humor, Chat handles, Comedy, Coming Out, Crushes, Dumbledore likes slime videos, F/F, F/M, FIGURING OUT YOUR SEXUALITY, Flirting, Fluff, Funny, Gay, Group chat, Growing Up, Harry's type is Draco, Hogwarts Houses, Humor, I wrote the first chapter in one sitting, Internet, Love, M/M, Matchmaking, Memes, Modern AU, Modern Hogwarts, More matchmakings, Mostly a Crack Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Realistic teen text dialogue, Serious sometimes, Shenanigans, Slice of Life, Some Swearing, Sometimes you get two chapter's a week and sometimes once chapter every two months, Teens, Texting, They are teens after all, This will be updated when I feel like this, Wifi at Hogwarts, Yes all the plot, friendships, heartbreaks, irregular updates, it's 2017, many ships, references, relationships, they have all become friends, what even are tags, wifi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 02:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12785409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: Ever wondered what would have happened if Voldemort never returned and the golden trio got to live their lives like normal students?Probably. But make it 2017 and give Hogwarts Wi-Fi and everything gets way more interesting.





	1. Behold: Wi-Fi

Ever wondered what would have happened if Voldemort never returned and the golden trio got to live their lives like normal students?

Probably. But make it 2017 and give Hogwarts Wi-Fi and everything gets way more interesting.

 

Minerva McGonnagall’s hand shook as she held the rectangular plastic box in her hands, looking sceptic yet scared of it. It held so much power, and with one step it could take all the students under its control, practically making them into mind slaves. Mind slaves of that so called “Net”.

“Are you sure this is such a good idea Albus?”, she asked as she looked up to the old man with silver white hair and glasses shaped like the half of a moon.

“Yes I am. All the muggleborn students are talking about this internet thing, and many of them get really deprived and panic when they realized Hogwarts had no such thing. We don’t want an incident of 2015 again do we?”.

“Well the student survived, physically speaking. So we are making this thing so there won’t be another outbreak and riot?”.

Dumbledore nodded.

“Yes, but I also checked this net out by myself, and it is quite nice actually, they have an eternity’s worth of slime tutorial videos, and a place where you can buy cool robes”.

“Slime tutorial?”.

“Yes Minerva, it’s really calming, actually. It’s good to watch once you’re stressed about grading papers. But back to the subject, let’s plug this router into the castle”.

Sigh

“It that’s your order”.

This certainly could not be a good idea at all.

She prayed for the safety of her students.

 

… Later …

 

The Chosen Boi added Bookmione, GinnyGirl, To the Luna and back, and RON to the group chat.

The Chosen Boi renamed the chat “Party at Hogwarts Supreme”.

The Chosen Boi: Hey can you guys believe they actually installed wifi at the school?

The Chosen Boi: I mean, it’s so neat isn’t it. Now we won’t have to live like we were born during the stone age.

Bookmione: I’m with you Harry. It’s nice that the wizarding world is finally catching up on modern technology. I mean they must eventually, and this will make it was easier to study.

GinnyGirl: I’m with Mione on this one. Looking through countless of old dusty library books aint no fun.

GinnyGirl: It’s just a timewaster. Now we have time for important things, like quidditch!

To the Luna and back: yeah, quidditch matches are nice to watch. your team is way better than ravenclaw, don’t tell anyone that though.

To the Luna and back: also, how do you all make some of your letters big?

The Chosen Boi: It’s called caps.

Bookmione: It’s down in the corner, it’s an arrow with a mark under it. You can also use shift, it’s the other arrow bellow it. You press it while you write those letters you want too.

To the Luna and back: Like this?

To the Luna and back: Yes I did it.

GinnyGirl: Nice. We’ll make you able to use the tech of the century. Most in the wizarding world don’t.

Bookmione: But Ginny? You’re from a pure blood family that know notjing about tech. How do you know about this?

Bookmione: Nothing* Sorry for that typo.

The Chosen Boi: Did you think I wouldn’t teach my girlfriend how to use the internet? How low standers do you have of me, she needs to know about memes.

Bookmione: Understandable.

To the Luna and back: What’s a meme?

GinnyGirl: They’re amazing Luna. Trust me.

GinnyGirl. But they ain’t near as amazing as my Harry. <3 <3 <3

The Chosen Boi: Anything for you Gin. ;) <3

To the Luna and back: Naw you’re so cute.

Bookmione: Yes, otp. I ship it so hard.

The Chosen Boi: Yes, Ginny is the cute one of course. I sure scored in the girlfriend department, didn’t I?

GinnyGirl: My chosen one <3

GinnyGirl: You’re the best.

RON: EW STOP FLIRTING WITH MY SISTER

Bookmione: Oh I wondered where Ron was. He never wrote in the chat before.

RON: THAT’S BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS MUGGLE CHAT THING WORKS.

RON: CAN YOU HEAR ME?

The Chosen Boi: Yes Ron, we can see that you type. And sorry for the flirting.

GinnyGirl: Harry you shouldn’t apologize. We’re a couple and he needs to deal with it. He’s just a bitch because he never had a girlfriend.

RON: HEY I DID HAVE ONE.

Bookmione: That was under a love spell, yes.

RON: THAT’S NOT THE POINT

To the Luna and back: Ron one day you will find someone I promise, it just takes time. Don’t force it okay :)

The Chosen Boi: Yeah Ron, listen to Luna. You’ll find one eventually.

RON: SAYS THE GUY WITH A GIRLFRIEND

The Chosen Boi: Yeah there’s that. But why do you have to keep sound so mad?

RON: MAD?

RON: WHAT MAD?

GinnyGirl: Yeah Ron, you’re typing in all caps. You sound angry.

RON: CAPS? BUT I DON’T HAVE A CAP ON ME.

Bookmione: Oh sweet lord please have mercy on me.

To the Luna and back: Caps is a thing Hermione just taught me about :)

To the Luna and back: It’s that arrow in the corner where you can choose if you wanna write with uppercase or lowercase letters.

To the Luna and back: Was that description, right?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah it was.

RON: YOU MEAN THAT ARROW THING?

GinnyGirl: Yes. Press it.

RON: BUT WILL YOU STILL BE ABLE TO HEAR ME?

Bookmione: Oh sweet Jesus.

The Chosen Boi: “facepalms”

GinnyGirl: I’m ashamed to be related to you…

RON: WHAT DID I SAY???

To the Luna and back: Ron even I know that the way you type doesn’t’ interfere in what the other get to read.

RON: OH

RON: So, like this?

Bookmione: YES FINALLY!

RON: Do someone always have to talk like that?

GinnyGirl: No she just lost her patience with you bro. We all did, she was just verbal about it.

RON: Oh.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah. You gotta keep up with the new technology, or else you’ll be fucked. You know that right?

GinnyGirl: Yeah Ron, listen to Harry. His advice is always the best. :x ^^

The Chosen Boi: Cutie ^^

RON: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT FLIRTING?”

To the Luna and back. Ron…

RON: Sorry. Seeing my best friend flirting with my sister is just gross. No offense or anything. Just don’t do in front of me. It’s weird.

GinnyGirl: We’re not in front of you Ron. We’re in a group chat. It’s not like you’re seeing us hold hands or anything.

GinnyGirl: Or Harry, you still have that embarrassing pic of us? You could send it in the chat.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah just wait a sec ^^

RON: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

RON: CAN’T HEAR YOU!

RON left the chat.

RON has joined the chat.

RON: NOPE

RON has left the chat.

Bookmione: Oh Ronald, he has so much to learn.

To the Luna and back: About romance or muggle tech?

GinnyGirl: Both.

GinnyGirl: Honestly I have no idea why you hang out with him and all. Seriously, he’s so annoying.

The Chosen Boi: He’s not ALWAYS annoying Gin, just often. You can’t blame him for being clueless. Your family knew nothing about muggle tech.

To the Luna and back: But they do know about romance, with seven kids and all.

GinnyGirl: EW LUNA I DID NOT NEED THAT IMAGE IN MY MIND

Bookmione: I’m with Ginny on the one.

The Chosen BoI: Me too. I did not want to think about Mr and Mrs Weasley that way. Like they’re basically my adoptive parents at this point.

Bookmione: Ditto Harry. Ditto. Like not the parents thing, but the other.

The Chosen Boi: I get too.

To the Luna and back: Sorry, didn’t really think that one through.

GinnyGirl: Just never mention my parents overly active sex life again and I’m fine.

To the Luna and back: Okay.

To the Luna and back: So, any other conversation starter to get out of this awkward silence?

Bookmione: Well, what about our grades?

GinnyGirl: Ew the grades. Don’t remind me. Snape gave me a fucking P on my essay about finding the right potion ingredients.

The Chosen Boi: Aw that sucks man. He gave me a D, atleast you get to redo the essay, D is too bad of a grade for that.

Bookmione: Yeah Snape sucks, he gave me an A when I deserve an O, or atleast an E. I worked on that essay for days.

To the Luna and back: Yeah he sure plays favoritism. I heard Draco got an O when he deserved an E, just because he’s a Slytherin.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, that white haired handsome jerk deserves a T just because the way he acts.

GinnyGirl: Handsome?

The Chosen Boi: SHIT! Autocorrect my dudes. I meant to write “haunting”.

(Nice save there Harry, he thought to himself. No one needed to know, it was not like he thought he was hot or something, no homo or anything.  And yes, the author broke the fourth wall just because of this).

Bookmione: Yeah, that makes sense. But anyway, have you ever thought about how weird our grade system is? Like for real? O, E, A, P, D, T? Who came up with that? A simple A to F system like the rest of the world uses would be nice.

GinnyGirl: I’ve never been to muggle school but that sounds way easier. Like did the old Hogwarts founders want to mentally torture us or not?

To the Luna and back: Probably, you never know with them. After all, one had a secret pet snake and another has a magic sword appear out of a hat.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, I wonder what weird stuff Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw have done.

To the Luna and back: Trust me, you don’t wanna know that one.

Bookmione: Luna?

To the Luna and back: Believe me…

RON joined the chat.

RON: Have you stopped flirting yet?

Bookmione: Yes they have. So you’re back now?

RON: Yeah, as long as it keeps being that way. Also, some random person on the Hogwarts wifi server sent me a recommendation of a thing called anime?

To the Luna and back: OMG ANIME! You gotta watch Soul Eater.

GinnyGirl: And SNK!

Bookmione: And My Hero Academia!

The Chosen Boi: And Yuri on Ice!

GinnyGirl: Harry what is with you and gay things today?

The Chosen Boi: Hey, Yuri on Ice is about way more than being gay. It’s about ice skating and friendship, and trying to challenge yourself to the max. And naked Victor being hot sure is a plus.

Bookmione: Harry?

The Chosen Boi: YOU HEARD ME! EVERYONE LOVES VICTOR! ;)

(Especially Harry. Platinum blond males with such looks and abs were the best. Those abs. Yes those abs, and sculpted calves and hard chests. And the way that blond hair is pressed against the head when the guy is wet. So hot… fuck. Okay don’t tell anyone Harry thought about that. He’s not gay. He swears. Let’s just let the author go back to writing the actual story now, guys gals and nonbinary pals).

The Chosen Boi: Anyway Ron, what’s the name of that anime you got recommended. We could watch it together if you wanna, if this is your first anime and all.

Bookmione: Yeah, that sounds neat.

To the Luna and back: Yeah I’m down for that.

GinnyGirl: anIMU!

RON: Well, I think it’s called… Boku no Pico?

RON got removed from the chat.

The Chosen Boi: OKAY I AM NOT DEALING WITH THAT.

Bookmione: He’s gonna be scarred for life. I feel sorry for him. He’s too young to see that.

To the Luna and back: I hope him being blocked makes him question the anime and look it up before he watches it. I feel sorry for him either way.

GinnyGirl: Yeah if my brother comes up to me crying and traumatized by that I’m gonna find the person that sent that to him as a joke and hit them so hard. It was probably one of those Slytherins who thinks fucking around and traumatizing people is fun.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, probably. I just hope Ron doesn’t look it up.

The Chosen Boi: Nevermind I can hear him scream down in the common room. And I think I hear some crying.

Bookmione: Yeah I hear that too. ;-;

To the Luna and back: Poor boy. He did not deserve to see that.

GinnyGirl: Yes that is defiantly crying, I’m gonna find someone and beat them up real hard. So hard so they regret being born.

Bookmione: I’m with you one that one. No one deserves the fate Ron just got.

The Chosen Boi: I know, let’s make a group chat and invite some Slytherins just to troll them real hard before we humiliate them? Then they’ll see what house(s) is the best (thinking about you too Luna).

To the Luna and back: Thanks Harry :)

The Chosen Boi: No prob Bob. (Nice SU reference there).

The Chosen Boi: But anyway, who else were on with that trolling idea?

Bookmione: Sure, why not? They were probably the ones who took away Ron’s innocence and all, he was way too young for that shit.

To the Luna and back: I’m on with that idea ^^

GinnyGirl: Me too, but only if we start the conversation with me sending lots of rare Pepes just to fuck with them.

The Chosen Boi: Include the illuminati theme song too, and a jumpscare gif of Jeff the Killer.

GinnyGirl: Sure will.

Bookmione: Is gif pronounced yiff or gif by the way? I just got that in my head for some reason, and not just because plot convenience or anything like that. I think? Why did I even write that?

The Chosen Boi: Gif if you’re a normal person with morals and hopes in life. And yiff if you are a sinner, I mean furry.

Bookmione: Oh okay.  
GinnyGirl: Thanks for bringing that up Mione! I’m gonna send them some furry porn as revenge! Even if it’s not as bad as what Ron had to experience.

To the Luna and back: Good idea Ginny! ^^ *high fives you*.

Ginnygirl: *high fives you back*.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, that is a good way to start traumatizing them. So team Gryffindor + Ravenclaw, are you all ready to fuck with some Slytherins and make them pay for showing Ron a thing worse than death?

GinnyGirl: FOR RON WEASLEY!


	2. Chatting with Snakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two. I basically write these when I have long breaks.

The Chosen Boi added Bookmione, To the Luna and back and GinnyGirl to the group.

The Chosen Boi named the group ”Slytherins can go suck a dick”

Bookmione: Really Harry?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah? What’s wrong with that?

The Chosen Boi: Anyway, are you guys ready?

GinnyGirl: Sure thing.

To the Luna and Back: Yes.

The Chosen Boi: Okay, here goes nothing.

The Chosen Boi added D Malfoy, PanPark and Inibaz to the group.

GinnyGirl: What’s up fuckers?

Bookmione: Time for our sweet revenge baby.

PanPark: The fuck is this?

PanPark: Why are we in a chat with the gryffindors?

To the Luna and back: HEY.

PanPark: And that one ravenclaw. The lunatic one.

GinnyGirl. Shut your mouth, Luna ain’t a lunatic. You are.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, and it’s time for revenge.

D Malfoy: What kind of sick joke is this Potter?

D Malfoy: This is low even for you, you bastard.

D Malfoy: First you send Blaise that fucked up video and now you put us all in a big shit chat when we’re trying to comfort him. I thought you had standards, but no, the first thing you do when this castle gets wifi is to mentally scar someone.

GinnyGirl: What in the world are you talking about?

PanPark: Don’t play dumb you redhead. Blaise is crying because of you.

To the Luna and back: Actually we aren’t playing dumb. We started this chat as a revenge after you all sent Ron a video that made him cry.

D Malfoy: No fucking way.

PanPark: One of yours also got sent Boku no Pico without knowing what it was?

Bookmione: Yeah.

Bookmione: Wait “one of yours”?

Bookmione: Was that what happened to Blaise?

D Malfoy: What do you think Granger? It takes heavy shit to scare Zabini. Now when I think about it, why did we even think you guys sent it? You don’t have near enough guts so send anything like that.

GinnyGirl: So you are admitting that you guys were the ones that sent that to Ron then?

PanPark: NO WAY IN HELL!

PanPark: I need mind bleach for that, I would rather die than seeing that shit ever again.

D Malfoy: Same thing goes for me. That was disgusting.

Inibaz: Okay I’m here, thanks for the comforts Draco and Pansy.

Inibaz: Now I wanna be in this group.

GinnyGirl: Who is Inibaz?

Inibaz: Read if backwards.

GinnyGirl: Oh…

The Chosen Boi: But back to business, you better not be joking around when you say you didn’t send that shit to Ron.

PanPark: We told you we didn’t. I need mind bleach for that thing. I’ve never seen anything worse.

Inibaz: Ditto. I had a panic attack and I have no idea what I would have done without these guys.

D Malfoy: Blaise…

To the Luna and back: Hah you have feelings. :P

PanPark: Of course, we have, we ain’t some weird loveless machines. You have a really bad image of Slytherin as a whole.

Bookmione: We didn’t have the evil snake monster that attacked students.

PanPark: That wasn’t us either. It’s not our fault the founder was a bit crazy in the head. Like who builds a common room in a dungeon? And puts windows on the walls when you’re under the earth? You only see dirt for goodness sake!

To the Luna and back: Salazar Slytherin does not sound like a good architect.

PanPark: I can’t believe it but I agree with you for once.

D Malfoy: You must be crazy.

Inibaz: No Draco, Pansy is actually right, and so is Luna. Salazar Slytherin was a terrible architect. Like why give us windows when we’re underground? Either make our dorms above ground, or give us no windows at all. Like it ain’t that hard old man.

The Chosen Boi: Well Blaise, that actually sounds reasonable.

Inibaz: Thanks.

Inibaz: Wait a minute!

GinnyGirl: Hah. :P

Bookmione: Okay we are all having fun roasting each other, but we still have a problem. This means someone is sending random people the first episode of Boku No Pico. Someone other could be experiencing horror right as we speak. Don’t forget about that.

D Malfoy: Whoever watches that for pleasure is sick in the head. That homosexual act was so disgusting.

The Chosen BoI: Hey what’s wrong with being gay?

(Harry felt his heart beat, he was a bit angry. Malfoy was not gonna make fun of gay people as long as he was in this chat. Of course he knew this  gorgeous scumbag would be a homophobe).

D Malfoy: What? I’ve got nothing against gay people. I was talking about the Boku no Pico stuff, that is disgusting. My two biggests otps are actually gay ships if you need to know.

GinnyGirl: Oh tell us. ;)

D Malfoy. If you must know, it’s Dean and Castiel from Supernatural, and Yuri and Victor from Yuri on Ice. I also like Klance from Voltron but not as much.

(Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. “Internal screaming” It’s time).

To the Luna and back: Oh no he brought up that show.

Bookmione: Brace yourself.

The Chosen Boi: YOU LIKE YURI ON ICE???

D Malfoy: Yeah Potter? I do. What’s about it?

The Chosen Boi: I LOVE THAT ANIME.

The Chosen Boi: I AM SO GAY FOR VICTOR.

The Chosen Boi: I MEAN HE IS PERFECT, RIGHT? PLATINUM BLOND HAIR, ABS AND THAT HAIRSTYLE. IT’S BAE GOALS. I WOULD DIE FOR A MAN LIKE THAT.

PanPark:…

Bookmione:…

GinnyGirl: Harry you know you just described Draco’s appearance, and called it bae goals.

(Oh shit. They might be onto him).

D Malfoy: I don’t know if I should be mad, flattered or confused right now.

To the Luna and back: Let’s just…

To the Luna and back: Drop the subject okay.

PanPark: I’m with weird girl on this one.

Inibaz: Me too.

GinnyGirl: She’s not weird you dicks, but you have a point. Me three.

Bookmione: Ditto.

Bookmione: I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you Slytherins.

The Chosen Boi: But look, we’re bonding! This is good :)

D Malfoy: Shut up Potter.

The Chosen Boi: Never Handsome.

(Fuck. Oh fuck)

The Chosen Boi: Haunting demon* autocorrect I swear.

The Chosen Boi: Always make everything weird am I right?

(Good save there Harry, good save).

PanPark: What…?

Inibaz: Did Potter just flirt with Draco?

Bookmione: I… think so.

To the Luna and back: Harry or you gay?

GinnyGirl: Harry, I’m breaking up with you.

GinnyGirl left the chat.

The Chosen Boi: Fuck.

The Chosen Boi: Fuck fuck fuck.

The Chosen Boi: What just happened, what will I say to Ginny?

Bookmione: Don’t worry Harry, I’ll talk to her.

Bookmione: I’ll be AFK for a while, just keeping talking or something.

PanPark: Good luck. This gay drama will be interesting to watch.

The Chosen Boi: I AIN’T GAY

The Chosen Boi: NO HOMO.

(Or maybe a little homo).

 

…

 

Bookmione added GinnyGirl to a new chat.

Bookmione: Ginny are you okay?

GinnyGirl: …

Bookmione: Ginny can you please answer? I want to help you if something is up.

GinnyGirl: Why do you care? Harry just broke up with me. I’m crying Mione.

Bookmione: Ginny, you were the one who broke up with Harry, not the other way around.

GinnyGirl: Fuck I wanna kill myself. It just happened. I didn’t mean any of it, not at all.

GinnyGirl: I don’t hate Harry, I’m just so confused and things just blurted out. I’m crying now, I really don’t wanna break up. I love Harry and I just fucked everything up because of my damn hormones. Ugh. What am I gonna do Mione?

Bookmione: Just breathe for starters okay?

Bookmione: It’s gonna be okay, trust me. Being in love sure is a really weird experience, I’ve been there. You are not alone there girl. Rather far from it.

GinnyGirl: Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but it’s not working.

GinnyGirl: It’s just making me feel way more stupid. Ugh I’m so stupid.

Bookmione: Ginny you are not stupid. Do you hear me? We are teenagers for gods sake and hormones are making us crazy, that’s a fact. We often act by impulse.

GinnyGirl: I know that dude. That kind of just happened to me, you don’t need to explain it to me, miss know it all.

Bookmione: Well thanks for that, I’m just trying to help. So glad to see that my help is appreciated around here :)

Bookmione: But if you’re gonna bitch I can go back to the group chat instead. Those Slytherins are actually kinda fun, and this moment friendlier than you are.

GinnyGirl: No Mione don’t go.

GinnyGirl: I’m sorry. I’m a real fucking train wreck, you name it.

GinnyGirl: I’m unstable af, and I may be annoying, but please bear with me on this one, I beg you. I’m so confused.

Bookmione: Okay Ginny, I’ll stay, but don’t lash out again okay. I wanna help.

GinnyGirl: Yeah. The thing with Harry is weird. I love him.

Bookmione: I know that Ginny, you can really see it with that look on your eyes. You are quite a cute couple.

GinnyGirl: Were Hermione. Were. I fucking broke up with him!

GinnyGirl: He’s gonna hate me forever. I should defiantly not have lashed out like that.

Bookmione: Ginny, listen, Harry is understandable, so even if you really wanted to break up, he would take it good and do everything to be on friendly terms with you. That’s the truth. He would just want what makes you happiest, you don’t have to worry about losing him.

GinnyGirl: But what if he doesn’t wanna be together again?

Bookmione: I’m pretty sure he will, you didn’t mean to break up on purpose. Just explain that you lashed out for no reason and it’ll be good. Then he’ll know you didn’t mean it. That it was an accident. Tell him that you’re sorry and he’ll understand.

GinnyGirl: You sure about that smart girl?

Bookmione: I can’t be one hundred percent sure, no one can. But he will understand if you explain how you felt. He’ll atleast be your friend.

GinnyGirl: I DON’T WANNA BE HIS FRIEND

GinnyGirl: I WANNA BE HIS GIRLFRIEND!

GinnyGirl: Okay there I went again. Do you think it’s true?

Bookmione: What is true?

GinnyGirl: That Harry is gay. Like I know it sounds like stereotyping, but these past conversation is making me almost completely sure of it.

Bookmione: As said before, I don’t have an answer to that, only Harry does.

GinnyGirl: Hermione I wanna be together with him more than anything. I love him. But the thought of him not loving me back, it is eating me up alive. I don’t know what would be worse, him breaking up with me for being gay, or the possibility of him being in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. He could end up seeing me as something he wished didn’t existed. Oh I’m so confused.

Bookmione: I totally get that, I would be too if I was in your situation, I think everyone would be, but you got to take it as it comes. You can’t predict anything.

GinnyGirl: Yeah you’re right. Can you add me to the group chat again? I wanna talk to Harry.

Bookmione: Sure Ginny.

 

…

 

To the Luna and back: So the plot is kinda confusing but it’s really something to check up. Trust me.

PanPark: Damn sounds like it, that book should totally be a bestseller after just hearing the description.

The Chosen Boi: I think I actually have a copy of it on my electronic reads on my iPad, I’m gonna check later if anyone want to.

D Malfoy: Could I borrow it if you have some time over? That plot sounded cool.

The Chosen Boi: Sure Draco.

Bookmione added GinnyGirl to the chat.

To the Luna and back: Oh, Ginny and Hermione are back.

GinnyGirl: Hey…

Inibaz: Hey Ginny, how are you feeling?

PanPark: Yeah, you seemed kind of down when you left.

GinnyGirl:…

GinnyGirl: Is this the same chat? What happened to your attitudes?

To the Luna and back: They’re actually not that bad. I think the house thing was what started the feud in the first place.

PanPark: Yeah, you guys are really cool, we talked about book plots, and Luna recommended this book that sounded really good. Harry has a copy.

Bookmione: Harry does? Could I borrow it?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah I do, but it’s an E-book. And I promised Draco that he could borrow it first, so you got to wait until he has read it before you can borrow my iPad.

D Malfoy: No Harry, she can read it first, she reads way faster than me anyway.

The Chosen Boi: Sure, if that’s okay with you.

The Chosen Boi: Mione I can give you the iPad once it’s fully charged.

Bookmione: Well, sure Harry.

The Chosen Boi: No prob Bob.

GinnyGirl: Harry can I get your attention for a minute?

The Chosen Boi: Sure Ginny. What is it?

GinnyGirl: It’s about what I said when I left the chat.

The Chosen Boi: Oh.

Inibaz: This should be good.

PanPark: Indeed.

GinnyGirl: I’m sorry. I have no idea why I raged like that when I had no reason at all to do it. It was kind of a dick move. But I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t wanna break up, not at all. I have no idea why I said it, and I’m so nervous right now and scared I might have accidently offended you or something. I really didn’t mean too. I really didn’t mean too. I’m sorry.

To the Luna and back: Awe so romantic. ^^

The Chosen Boi: It’s okay Ginny, everyone can get weird once in a while, we are teens after all.

GinnyGirl: That’s what Hermione said to. But like, I’m really sorry and didn’t mean any of it. I don’t wanna break up. So, does this mean that we’re back together again?

(Oh god, Harry thought as the sweat began to pour from his face, heart beating fast).

The Chosen Boi: Actually I think not.

GinnyGirl: What?

The Chosen Boi: Now it’s my time to be sorry, but you breaking up with me and saying all that stuff made me start to question things. Like if we are right for each other. I think it would be best if we saw other people, I really do. It’s not you, or well it is you but not that way.

GinnyGirl: What do you mean?

The Chosen Boi: You asking me if I was gay made lots of questions appear in my head. Not to offend you, but I don’t see you as attractive. I don’t see any woman in general as attractive, so I think it’s best that we break up until I’ve figured out what and who I’m attracted too. That will make it way easier than if I realize it when we’ve dated for years.

GinnyGirl: Oh… okay.

GinnyGirl: I’m just glad that you’re happy though. If this is what feels right.

(Harry’s heart pounded, the secret was out, for all the world to see. There was no turning back, but breaking up with Ginny felt sort of like a relief in a way. Now he didn’t have to lie to her, but he hadn’t had the heart to break her heart, playing along. It was a huge mix of emotions really, and he couldn’t even name them all, but somewhere he felt like this was for the best. Now he didn’t need to worry about other people, and relations to him as he tried to figure this out. Because he was gay right? Guys seemed way more appealing and attractive to him, but did that come to his mind thanks to fandoms or something else? Was this what attraction should feel like? To say the least, he had lots to think about, so being single right now was the best option for everyone. Yeah, that’s it).

PanPark: So that was like, a coming out? Sort of I mean.

The Chosen Boi: Well, yeah I guess it was, that’s one way to put it. I hope no one’s bad at me though.

Inibaz: Why would we be mad? Your sexuality is yours, not ours to choose. Only you can know it, and people who try to change you are total assholes.

D Malfoy: Yeah Harry, I’m with Blaise. You should not feel ashamed if you think you’re gay. Don’t make the same mistake as I did when I figured out my sexuality.

To the Luna and back: Wait Draco, are you gay?

(Oh my god, oh my god).

D Malfoy: Oh I just realized that I haven’t brought it up before, but no. I’m bi. So I guess this was my sort of coming out.

The Chosen Boi: Awe so sweet.

D Malfoy: Shut up Potter!

D Malfoy: I mean Harry. Sorry, old habit.

Bookmione: It happens to everybody… Draco. I guess I can call you that, since I missed the big bonding moment all of you had when I talked to Ginny. But like, this is much to take in.

D Malfoy: Yeah you can call me by my first name, I’m not a deuce. And yes, this is a lot to take in.

PanPark: Ahem yes. Just this morning I never thought I’d chat with the Gryffindors and feel happy and smile. But lots can happen overnight, this just proves that.

Inibaz: Yeah I like this change, we’re not on the tail of each other anymore. No fighting is so relazing.

GinnyGirl: Agreed there boy.

Bookmione: When I think about it, this could be the start of something. I mean, we no longer see each other as enemies, and I’ve learned a lot of cool stuff about you, that I didn’t know before thanks to house hate.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah we should do this more often, it’s kinda nice, like a bonding moment.

PanPark: That sounds so gay xD (Ironically of course, nothing wrong with being gay dudes. But that one sentence sounded really gay).

D Malfoy: Yeah it kind of did. Anyway, with all this drama, wanna do something else like watching a really bad movie together ironically togehter? Does everyone here have rabbit?

PanPark: Yes dude, ironic movies are the best.

GinnyGirl: I’m downloading it now.

To the Luna and back: I’m logging in.

Inibaz: Me too Luna.

Bookmione: Can you find it in the appstore?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah you can Mione. Just search for rabbit and it’ll come up.

D Malfoy: Anyway, while we’re waiting for Hermione to get set up, let’s figure out what movie we shall watch.

To the Luna and back: Let’s do the Emoji movie!

PanPark: No, it’s so bad, even to watch for ironic purposes. It’s basically badly written, app advertisement and a dose of “Sorry the old Jailbreak can’t come to the phone. Why? Cause she’s dead… oh nevermind she is a princess again and looks so ugly”.

Bookmione: Yeah that’s right.

Inibaz: What about.. Chicken Little?

D Malfoy: Yes I vote that one, it’s so bad so it’s good.

The Chosen Boi: Good choice there Blaise.

GinnyGirl: Yeah that’s neat. Everyone agrees on that one?

To the Luna and back: Yeah.

Bookmione: Okay the app just finished downloading, I’m ready soon, just gonna create an account for.

The Chosen Boi: Sure, we ain’t starting the movie without you.

GinnyGirl: Hey, now that we’re all waiting, let’s add Ron to the chat too and scare him with us suddenly being friends and all.

PanPark: OMG THAT WOULD BE PRICELESS.


	3. Teach Ron How the Internet Works + Matchmaking Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so basically, the events of the four first books happened but after that they got to be normal teens.

Inibaz added The Chosen Boi, Bookmione, D Malfoy, GinnyGirl. PanPark, Ron and To the Luna and back to the chat.

Inibaz named the chat “Sup bros”.

Inibaz: Hey dudes :)

RON: Hey Blaise.

D Malfoy: Greetings.

To the Luna and back: Hey everyone. What are you all doing? <3

The Chosen Boi: Studying for Charms class, we got a really hard spell this week, like, why do we even need a spell for how to turn potatoes into self-tying shoe laces? Just tying them ourselves is a lot less work.

Bookmione: I’m with Harry, sometimes wizards make spells for such absurd things that they don’t even need.

RON: Wait, there are shoe laces that don’t tie themselves?

Bookmione: For God’s sake, this is why are purebloods should be forced to attend Muggle Studies.

D Malfoy: What Ron? You seriously don’t know there are normal shoe laces? Even I know that and I’m from a pureblood family that don’t like muggle things, while your dad literally works with them.

The Chosen Boi: A few years ago his dad asked me what the function of a rubber duck was.

GinnyGirl: *facepalm*

Ginnygirl: Oh dad, sometimes I’m worried about him. Like how does no one in the muggle department of the ministry know actual things about muggles? Like will they soon spread false info about a burrito being a tiny ant car?

RON: What’s a burrito?

PanPark: For Godness sake Weasley, Hogwarts has had wifi for almost two weeks now, do you even use it at all? How do you even know how to use the chat app if you don’t know what a damn burrito is? Like seriously? Even us purebloods have been to regular London, waiting for the train at King’s Cross and gotten hungry and bought fast food. Next thing you’ll ask me what McDonalds is.

RON: No I know that one! Harry bought me some one time.

D Malfoy: Of course you know about McDonalds thanks to Harry.

D Malfoy: No one of us will ever leave you alone in the muggle world, for your own good.

To the Luna and back: I’m with Draco. And people call me strange. :?

PanPark: Yeah… Sorry about that.

To the Luna and back: All is forgiven. If you didn’t say that we wouldn’t have gotten into a nice conversation at the start anyway. And look where we are now, friends.

Inibaz: So you are thanking Pansy for teasing you because that made us friends in the end?

To the Luna and back: That’s about it yes.

Bookmione: Fair enough. This outcome is way more pleasurable than the first six years at school, I wish we had figured this out years ago.

D Malfoy: Yeah, this is way more fun than secretly trying to beat you all and uphold a rivalry just because you felt you had too. And house things and all that. And acting all though all the time so your image wouldn’t change.

RON: Like you did with Crabbe and Goyle?

D Malfoy: What?

The Chosen Boi: Well in second grade we made a polyjuice potion, kidnapped Crabbe and Goyle and transformed us into them to sneak into Slytherin’s common room to try to get some info about the heir of Slytherin and the chamber of secrets, no biggie or anything. Crabbe and Goyle weren’t hurt, and they got muffins at the end. And we found out you had a nice common room.

PanPark: YOU DID WHAT?

Inibaz: You’ve actually been to our common room? All three of you?

Bookmione: Both yes and no. They’ve been there but not me. There was a mixup with the hair I thought was from Millicent Bullstrode, and I turned into a huge cat instead. That’s why I was in the hospital wing for a while.

RON: Yeah she looked like a real furry. Like if she had a real fur suit on, there was a tail and everything. And those green glowing eyes.

Bookmione: Well you wouldn’t look much better yourself Ronald.

Inibaz: ROASTED.

D Malfoy: Yes, she sure is good at roasting people.

D Malfoy: But Ron, seriously, don’t tease her. Everyone would freak out if they fucked up a poly juice potion thingy. Be grateful your friend is okay.

To the Luna and back: Yeah Ron, what Draco said. What would you say if we made fun of you for, well your entire second year at school when you had a big broken wand that caused you trouble every other day?

GinnyGirl: Or the howler you got on like the first day of term.

RON: Don’t.

RON: Mention.

RON: That.

PanPark: Oh god I remember that! Real nice howler material from your mom, but what did you expect. You and Harry went to Hogwarts in a flying car for goodness sake, crashed into a tree and several muggles over London saw you. My family would send me ten howlers and force the principal to expel me if that had been me.

Inibaz: My parents would have literally killed me.

Inibaz: Yeah, like what were you two thinking back then?

The Chosen Boi: Well in our defense, Draco’s old house elf shut the entrance to the platform so that we missed the train. He tried to protect me from Hogwarts since he knew that chambers were going to open up that year.

D Malfoy: DOBBY DID WHAT??? :0

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, he also stole all my letters Ron and Hermione sent me because he wanted me to feel like I didn’t have any friends.

To the Luna and back: Why would he do that??? :o

The Chosen Boi: So I wouldn’t go back to school. I must say he was real dedicated, he embarrassed my aunt and uncle when they had guests. I also got to hear so many bad things about how he was treated, I despised the Malfoys. No offense Draco.

D Malfoy: None taken, my dad can be a bit of, well a huge jerk. He actually had plans on forcing me to become a death eater! If Voldemort hadn’t disappeared after the portkey incident then I probably would have that bloody mark on me right now.

D Malfoy: By the way, after the chamber thing, Dobby was free. Do you know anything about that?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah I put one of my socks in Voldemort’s book that Lucius gave to Dobby.

PanPark: Why did Draco’s dad have a book from him?

GinnyGirl: When we bought books for me, he sneaked it inside my cauldron. Tom riddle talked to me for a year using that pen, he took control over me and thanks to that the chambers opened again.

D Malfoy: Oh god dad.

D Malfoy: Why did he even.

D Malfoy: Merlin’s beard, I think I need to send _my_ dad a howler.

D Malfoy: No wonder you didn’t like me before, I must have been such a brainwashed little pureblood freak.

PanPark: Me too, no wonder most people didn’t like Slytherins. Our parents just tried to forced their weird and outdated views onto us.

Inibaz: I am so sorry for everything that may have caused you pain over all these years, it certainly won’t happen again.

Inibaz: I promise.

Bookmione: It’s fine you guys. We can see that difference between you and your parents.

To the Luna and back: Yeah, unlike them. You realized your mistakes and are working on becoming better people, while they are stuck in their old views. Just the fact that you’re doing everything to change just proves that you are good people. You may make mistakes but you want to fix them.

RON: I agree with Luna.

RON: I never thought I’d say it about you Slytherins, but you are a pretty cool group of people.

GinnyGirl: Yay bonding moment :)))

Inibaz: Yeah, let’s just forget all the bonding started because some weird fuck sent out an unforgivable horror anime to different people.

GinnyGirl: Yeah, I need mind bleach after that. *puke*

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, that was fucked up.

The Chosen Boi: Has someone caught the person yet? I heard McGonagall got sent that link the other day. I heard she is still in shock.

D Malfoy: So that is why she hasn’t been in the great hall for any meal.

Bookmione: Poor woman, she did not need to see that.

Inibaz: Yeah, it’s enough that Dumbledore is spamming her with those slime tutorial videos. He makes speeches about them during every single meal. So many slime videos is not healthy, especially for someone his age.

RON: Wouldn’t surprise me if he forced Snape to give us slime tutorial lessons during potions.

GinnyGirl: NO RONALD.

GinnyGirl: THE CRINGE.

RON: What’s a “cringe”?

The Chosen Boi: For the love of god. *facepalm*

PanPark: Ron, on Saturday when all homework is down, we will all meet in the great hall so that we can teach you how to properly use the internet. This is getting weird.

D Malfoy: Yeah, I’m bringing my iPad, it’s pretty easy to use and I’ll put on a child filter so you won’t scew up.

RON: HEY I AM NOT A BABY.

To the Luna and back: So you’re saying that you would be completely fine with searching the internet when you know nothing about it? :?

RON: Draco, please put on the child filter…

D Malfoy: Okay I’m doing it, brb in a sec.

Bookmione: Okay, see you.

RON: What’s a “brb?”.

The Chosen Boi: Okay, teaching Ron about the internet can’t wait until the weekend.

Bookmione: Yeah, how has he fixed it at all?

Inibaz: And I thought my family was bad with technology.

PanPark: Same.

GinnyGirl: I am gonna need to teach my dad about the internet too over the holidays, before he accidentally hurts himself or becomes contacted by the government or something because he thinks getting personal info of a stranger is legal or something, because he wants to ask about weird muggle memes he came across.

Bookmione: I can sadly see that happen to Mr Weasley to be honest.

To the Luna and back: Yikes. Are you serious Gin? :o :o :o

GinnyGirl: Yeah, sadly.

RON: You guys.

GinnyGirl: FOR FUCKS SAKE RONALD YOU BETTER NOT BE ASKING WHAT A MEME IS BECAUSE THEN I’LL RUN INTO YOUR ROOM, THROW OUT ALL YOUR THINGS OUT OF THE WINDOW AND THEN RELEASE PIGGY INTO THE WILD!

RON: Nevermind.

Inibaz: Who’s Piggy?

The Chosen Boi: Ron’s owl, a small hyperactive ball or rage. Sirius gave it to him when he sent a letter, back when the ministry still was after him when they thought he killed Peter Pettigrew.

PanPark: Wait he didn’t?

Bookmione: No?

Bookmione: It was in the daily prophet over two years ago. They found the real Peter Pettigrew, and then they found out the truth by using truth serum on both of them.

PanPark: Wait when did this happen?

PanPark: Fuck I think my parents are trying to “shelter” me from some things or whatever. Tell me more. When did they even know he was alive again.

The Chosen Boi: Well we found out in our third year, we kinda went back in time a bit, and also found of Peter was an unregistered animagus. He had been disguised as Ron’s rat for twelve years, then it was a full moon and Lupin forgot his potion, and we met Sirius and it became a whole trainwreck. Then he disappeared and we didn’t see him for a year.

Inibaz: For real??? How did they find him after that?

The Chosen Boi: Remember the portkey thing? I got transported to a graveyard and he was there. He made a ritual for Voldemort to come back, cut of his hand and also took some of my blood for the potion. Got a nasty scar from that. He also killed Cedric, and when they tried to kill me I managed to get back. I’m thanking god that Dumbledore and like all aurors were at the game, because they transfigurated to the cemetery before they had a chance and leave.

Inibaz: …

PanPark: Fuck.

RON: Yeah. They killed him there, and after that the aurors were on a hunt for all the horrocruxes and thanks to that, now he’s probably gone for life. Thank god they fixed it, With all our luck I thought it would have ended with us having to find them.

Bookmione: Same, I was so prepared for that, because let underaged wizards do all the work. I was so sure about it.

The Chosen Boi: Me too, thankfully we got to live like normal kids for a change. I killed a professor in first grade, killed a basilisk in second, did loads in third and where do I begin with the fourth?

D Malfoy: I’m back. What did I miss.

D Malfoy: Oh wow.

D Malfoy: That’s… a lot.

To the Luna and back: Harry, your life would be a best selling book! Like several books! Maybe like seven. It would probably even get movies, and probably split the last book into two movies for more profit like they do with every franchise now. The first year you guys found Nicholas Flamel's stone right? So the first book could be called something like "Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone".

Bookmione: And the second could be "Harry Potter and the Chamber or Secrets"! And the third... "Harry Potter and the Prisoner or Azkaban" because of the whole Sirius thing!

Inibaz: And in fourth year he somehow ended up in the games thanks to the goblet of fire fucking up so, "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?"

Bookmione: Blaise you are a genius! :0

The Chosen Boi: Come on, who would wanna read about my life?

Bookmione: I would.

PanPark: Me too, the stuff you just described. There’s a lot of things we don’t know about you.

D Malfoy: Yeah, Luna’s right. It would probably be a best seller.

GinnyGirl: Yeah Harry, you’d get all the fangirls. ;)

GinnyGirl: Or well, fanboys. Well you’d have fangirls too because teenage girls obsess about literally anything. But you know what I mean right.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah I do, but I still don’t think people would read it. And if it ever became a movie, who would even wanna see it? And who would they cast.

Bookmione: Have you ever heard about Daniel Radcliffe? He would be an amazing Harry for the last films, he looks almost exactly like you, except for the eyes and all.

GinnyGirl: OMG YES HE WOULD BE THE PERFECT MOVIE HARRY! HE HAS ABS!

PanPark: I second that.

The Chosen Boi: Please can we stop talking about people playing me for a movie, it is a bit weird you guys.

D Malfoy: Don’t drag me into this, I only talked about the movie idea, not the actors.

PanPark: Draco, Tom Felton with dyed hair would be perfect for you. He also got those abs, he’d be so hot if they wrote in a shirtless scene. Wait, there would be a shirtless scene atleast for Harry, during the fourth year remember.

D Malfoy: Oh god not you too.

The Chosen Boi: RUN DRACO RUN!  
The Chosen Boi. LET’S RUN BEFORE THEY START TO COME UP WITH FAN THEORIES ABOUT HOW WE’RE SECRETLY RELATED TO THOSE ACTORS. WE GOTTA LEAVE NOW WHEN WE HAVE THE CHANCE!

D Malfoy: YES HARRY.

D Malfoy: I’M WITH YOU.

D Malfoy: THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.

D Malfoy left the chat.

The Chosen Boi left the chat.

Bookmione: Well that just happened.

To the Luna and back: Yeah… What even happened?

RON: I think you scared them by your, how did you call it?

RON: Was it “fangirling”?.

GinnyGirl: YES RON FOR ONCE YOU’RE RIGHT!

GinnyGirl: And I think we just realized something more.

PanPark: And that is?

GinnyGirl: Either they are terrified by us, or they’re gay for each other and slowly realizing it. I might not be over Harry yet, but I just want him to be happy so I’m gonna do everything I can for them to end up together. Gotta be that healthy friend and all.

Inibaz: I’m gonna go and make a shipping fic as a joke and see if they get it. ;)

Bookmione: Good idea Blaise. And I’m gonna send gay memes to both of them. Like Harry has been dropping hints so much, he is obviously gay for Draco without wanting to admit it.

Bookmione: You from Slytherins have known Draco the longest, what do you all think about him?

Inibaz: He is definitely gay for Harry, he just hasn’t realized it yet.

GinnyGirl: Okay, we have a plan. First, we teach Ron how to use the internet properly, and then we’ll play matchmakers.


	4. Drarry on Ice

GinnyGirl added Inibaz, Bookmione, RON, PanPark and To the Luna and back to the chat.

GinnyGirl renamed the chat ”Matchmaking bois”.

GinnyGirl: Okay guys, read to get some gay ships to become canon.

PanPark: HELL YEAH! :D

Inibaz: IT’S SHIPPING TIME!

To the Luna and back: I was born ready you guys! :)))

RON: Ginny what does that mean?

Bookmione: Ronald, tomorrow I will tell you about shipping and the language around it okay, but for now, just deal with it. We can’t just put the Drarry operation on ice like this, we need to do something fast. They are probably in a private groupchat after getting embarrassed about how we compared them to Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton, even though they would be the obvious actors for the job. -.-

Bookmione: But that’s not the point, we need to be matchmakers, listen to Ginny.

Inibaz renamed the chat “Drarry on ice”.

PanPark: Really Blaise? Drarry on ice? That’s fucking priceless man! *high five*

Inibaz: I know. ;) .-. *high fives back*

RON: I still don’t…

RON: Get it?

To the Luna and back: How? O_O

RON: What’s that Luna? I am just getting more confused. Why are you all even writing those symbols now and then?

PanPark: For the love of god. We are not going to explain emoticons for you Ron. That’s even cringier.

RON: What?

GinnyGirl: Ronald just listen to me okay.

GinnyGirl: You net newbie. v.v

Inibaz: Yeah Ron, just listen to your sister for once. This just young teen love, they would be the otp of the century at the school, trust us.

Inibaz: Okay before you even ask, don’t ask what an otp is. It means it’s a perfect ship, and before you ask what a ship is, it’s a pairing. Hermione will tell you about shipping culture tomorrow.

GinnyGirl: You know you can tell him about shipping now instead, or he would be completely lost during the entire conversation about how we need to make Harry and Draco an item. He is Ron after all, and he isn’t the brightest one when it comes to online things as you guys are seeing here. I don’t know how we even are related.

RON: Ginny you seem so chill about this?

RON: You broke up like two weeks ago and you were devastated. Now you want to match make him into a relationship with Draco. Draco of all people.

PanPark: Ron you can’t just ask a girl that! That is rude. :0

To the Luna and back: Yeah, Pansy is right! Don’t ask a girl such a thing about a relationship, it might hurt her. Let her bring it up instead. AND, don’t talk about Draco using those words, we are all friends now!

Bookmione: Ron do you even know anything about girls in the first place? And seriously, be more careful when using words. We do not wanna lose our new friendships with the slutherins

RON: Sorry Ginny. And sorry Slytherins, I didn’t mean it. Old habit I’ve had for six years sadly.

PanPark: It’s okay Ron, we know you’re well, you. :)

Inibaz: No offense here either. But if it makes you feel any better Ron, I know nothing about girls either. We can be idiots on this subject together, because sometimes girls are weird.

RON: Thanks Blaise, atleast I’m not the only one thinking all the girls are bloody crazy.

GinnyGirl: I heard that brother.

GinnyGirl: But like I said in the other chat before the guys left. I do have feeling for Harry still, real feelings. I wanna be with him but it wouldn’t be a good relationship, Harry is gay and I would just feel bad if he felt like he was forced into a relationship he didn’t want to be in, because a relationship is about both people wanting to be part of it. I would just feel bad if I forced Harry into a relationship. I felt something was off when we were together, but I didn’t know why. Him coming out as gay, or well questioning (he is obviously gay, he said it himself now) made so much sense to all the things before. I just want him to be happy, even if it’s with someone that’s not me. He is obviously crushing on Draco, and I think helping them get together will help me to get over him, because if I see Harry happy with Draco then I’ll be happy. I just want Harry’s happiness, and if he’s happy with Draco, then I’ll do everything for them to get together. That’s why I started this matchmaking chat so we can help them realize that they are good for each other. I want us to remain in a healthy friendship together, because just because we broke up doesn’t mean I don’t want to see him. Okay Ron, was that a good enough answer for you? Or do I need to be even more clear?

PanPark: Ginny, that was heartbreaking. ;-;

PanPark: I am sobbing right now, it was so beautiful. That my dear friends is what a healthy relationship between friends is supposed to look like.

Inibaz: I’m not crying.

Inibaz: You are all crying. (ToT)

To the Luna and back: Blaise you aren’t the only one crying here. ;n;

Bookmione: Pass the tissues guys. That was so wonderful.

RON: What?

Bookmione: Ronald Weasley please don’t tell me that you don’t understand the sweet things behind that speech about love and relationships that your sister just had with us. You need to understand it, because if you fucking don’t then I don’t even know what to do with you.

Bookmione: Boys…

Bookmione: Oh boys…

Bookmione: No offense to Blaise.

Inibaz: None taken Mione. I know how most boys are. Some of us can be total fucking trash, and that’s just a mild word to describe some of the boys out there. No respect for women or their feelings at all.

Inibaz: It’s thanks to them that most men get a bad reputation. But it’s common sense to be a good human being so those guys must have atleast one screw loose somewhere.

GinnyGirl: You are so right Blaise. Some men out there are total asses. *eyeroll*

GinnyGirl: But we are slowly getting off the subject. Even though disgusting bad human being and how to not act in public is pretty important. I could spend hours talking about that, but we’ll save it for later okay?

GinnyGirl: Right now we need to make Drarry canon.

RON: What does Draco and Harry has to do with a canon? Are you gonna put them on a ship? Warship? Does your plan involve an ocean? Why does it involve an ocean? Isn’t it much simpler to do something here at school, because well canons are dangerous and if you wanna get them together you shouldn’t put them near a thing that can hurt them.

Bookmione: Oh Ronald. *facepalm*

Bookmione: What you said about danger was actually right, but the rest.

Bookmione: We better teach him about internet and shipping now you guys.

PanPark: Yeah, then we’ll start with Drarry on Ice.

Inibaz: So, were do we begin in teaching Ron about how to be like an actual teen? I mean how to use a PC. Well it’s the same thing anyway in the year of 2017, we are practically on the net 24/7.

To the Luna and back: Let’s do memes! ^^  
To the Luna and back: Or wait, shipping. Since we are about to become Drarry matchmakers anyway. <3 <3 <3

GinnyGirl: Luna is right.

GinnyGirl: Now, let’s teach my incompetent brother about how to actually use the internet.

PanPark: Yes! And then, finally Drarry on ice!

To the Luna and back: OTP TIME!

 

…

 

The Chosen Boi added D Malfoy to a new chat.

The Chosen Boi renamed the chat to “What the fuck just happened?”

The Chosen Boi: Okay I think we escaped the weird shipping girls for now.

The Chosen Boi: And Blaise.

The Chosen Boi: And Ron but I doubt he even knows what shipping is.

D Malfoy: Probably.

D Malfoy: Hopefully.

D Malfoy: But yeah you were right. That chat was so weird. I’m still cringing from it. I don’t look like Tom Felton at all! That is just plain ridiculous. HE ISN’T EVEN BLOND! And, the way they just started to talk about abs. I was afraid they’d send us homemade smut in only a few minutes, and fanart! They would defiantly send so much god damn fanart. ;o;

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, that was freaky. I don’t look like that Daniel Radcliffe at all, just no. He is so ugly. And straight.

D Malfoy: I’m with you dude.

D Malfoy: But atleast your actor would have the right hair color.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, but still. Just ew.

The Chosen Boi: Who in the world would ever chose those actors to play us if my life became a movie? Like of all people, why them? They aren’t even good actors, it’s more of the opposite. They would probably only be chosen because of their fame and already famous artists means extra money in the box office.

D Malfoy: Yeah.

D Malfoy: Hollywood only wants money.

D Malfoy: But Tom Felton. He is so ugly, why would they want him to play me? It’s a disgrace. I don’t look like him at all.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, you don’t look like Tom Felton at all, he is way too ugly to play you in a movie. No hots at all, even the shippy fangirls would say no to him.

D Malfoy: Yeah, you’re right.

D Malfoy: Wait did you just say that I was way hotter than Tom Felton?

D Malfoy: I know it’s true, everyone is hotter than him, but yknow what I mean.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah I know what I meant.

The Chosen Boi: Have you even looked yourself in a mirror lately? You are solid twelve on a scale from one to ten, like everyone is literally after you. Not to sound weird or anything, but you are literally a god of beauty. Don’t you see that like half the school is after you? Because you’re HOT. No, hot is the wrong word to describe you, hot is just a nice body for sexual viewing, you are GORGEOUS to say the least.

D Malfoy: Wait, they are?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah.

The Chosen Boi: You seriously haven’t seen it? There’s people whispering behind your back literally every day, talking about how hot you are and that they would do anything for a date with the “blond prince of beauty” (I’m quoting). But you are more than hot, you’re gorgeous, yet some people only seem to describe you as hot, and not look at everything with you.

D Malfoy: You serious?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah I am, I already told you.

The Chosen Boi: You have the best looks in the entire world, you are so gorgeous, your smirk, the way your eyes shine and that beautiful snow white hair, there’s no wonder so many people have the hots for you. You are as I said before, the hottest and most gorgeous and amazing guy that ever lived, not only the hottest guy on Hogwarts. That’s what I think atleast, and what everybody else should think too. You should be appreciated.

D Malfoy: Wait… is it true?

The Chosen Boi: Yes, for the twentieth time it’s a yes. Your face makes almost everyone blush, you are so tall and handsome and so many people biggest dreams is talking to you, or just holding your hand. People would die for you, and travel across all of the world just for a five minute talk with you while you look them in your eyes. Your eyes is like a bottomless wishing well Draco, they are never ending and you just keep getting sucked in, you can never leave, you just go, and every second it just becomes better because of the way your eyes glitter and the people literally fly of joy. Looking at you is like dancing on white fluffy clouds. Heck, why do I write it like I am talking about other people? Heh.

D Malfoy: What… do you mean?

The Chosen Boi: Draco…

The Chosen Boi: Isn’t it obvious at this point?

The Chosen Boi: The way I just described you. You are wonderful. I would be following you across all the world and even to space, I would swim through the most dangerous ocean and walk through the deserts without any water for weeks just for a chance to hold your hand for a single second, to get a single shining smile out from you, to look at your face closely. Every time I see you my heart stops and all I can think about are you mesmerizing eyes and your shiny silver hair. The way you smile, how all my body wishes I was the one that made you smile. I can barely feel my heartbeat around you, my body is working so fast. I’m always shaking and biting my teeth, wishing for you to notice me. You are so beautiful, at night I dream about you. I dream about us holding hands and just hanging out. I dream about giving you soft forehead kisses and snuggling tightly together with you under a blanket during winter, with a cup of hot cocoa. I dream about us Draco, all I can think about is you. When I hear your name, your beautiful name, my head is up in the clouds, I feel warmer than humanly possible, it feels like I have just downed five bottles of love potions, love that just has you on the mind. I fly in the clouds, clouds that in my head spell your name as I long for the day when I can hold your hand and call you mine. The day you would know all. I can barely control it, you are the only thing I want in this god damn world, and I swear on that with my life. I’ve always been so shy around you, but I can’t keep it a secret anymore. I can go days without sleeping because all that’s on my mind is you. And those feelings are just growing stronger for every second that passes. I’m all warm and full, it’s like the world is trying to drag me to you, like electricity. It’s like fate wants us together, like it’s hiding and whispering “go to him Harry, go to him. Make him yours”. It has been such a pain to hide it, because every time I see you I see everything good with you. I see true perfection. I won’t hide it anymore. I just can’t. So if it still isn’t obvious at this point, I just wanna say one thing to you.

The Chosen Boi: I love you Draco. I really do.

The Chosen Boi: I know you probably don’t feel the same about me, but now you atleast know how I feel. I just couldn’t keep it a secret any longer, I just couldn’t and I hope that you one day understand that.

D Malfoy: Harry…

D Malfoy: Did you… just confess to me?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah I did. I have the biggest fucking crush on you that a guy ever could have on someone. I get hot and it’s confusing like hell, but it’s there, and you’re just, perfect. My heart tells me you’re the one for me, but as said before, I understand if you don’t feel the same.

D Malfoy: Harry, I can’t… believe it.

D Malfoy: I can’t fucking believe it.

D Malfoy: I kind of like you too…

The Chosen Boi: You do?

D Malfoy: Yeah, your smile, your black messy hair, that scar of yours, and those emerald green eyes. Your explanation of my eyes, that is how I feel when I look into yours, they are like a prison, a prison I never want to leave. You make me feel warm, but I was so nervous and was sure you’d never like someone like me, especially after the fact of how I have behaved around you the past years. I never thought you’d like me, and the insecurities about my crush just turned into more taunts. For some reason, I thought that would be a good way for you to notice me even though it obviously wasn’t.

The Chosen Boi: So, you like me too?

The Chosen Boi: Really like me too?

D Malfoy: Yeah I do, more than anything to be near you..

D Malfoy: The fact that you just confessed to me feels so surreal. I’ve already pinched myself like twenty times while I read it all, like if it’s all a part of an amazing dream. My heart is beating so fast, it’s like it’s about to get out of my body. I’m even warmer, and there’s tears coming from my eyes, happy tears. And the fact that I just confessed too, it’s a big mix of emotions, all good. All of me is screaming, shouting in happiness. I want to dance around the room, make all of my dorm to realize how happy I am to be talking to you. I want all of them to know how lovestruck I am by a certain young man with a scar on his head that also happens to wear Gryffindor robes.

The Chosen Boi: Draco, you really meant all of that?

D Malfoy: Yes Harry. I’m sitting here with the biggest blush in the history of all blushes a wizard ever has had after confessing to his crush. It feels like this isn’t real, it feels like I am in an amazing dream. The best dream I’ve ever had by the way.

D Malfoy: Did you… mean everything you said?

The Chosen Boi: Yes I did. And I regret nothing. I mean every single thing that I sent you in the confession text, you are the only one for me.

The Chosen Boi: And for me this feels like an amazing dream too.

The Chosen Boi: The fact that my crush, the handsome, gorgeous wizard that I’ve admired for so long likes me too. I have never been happier than in my entire life, Draco Malfoy. I love you.

D Malfoy: Harry Potter, I love you too. With all of my heart, and it is so amazing to finally be able to say that too you. I can’t wait until class tomorrow, I’m gonna take your hand in mine, look you right into your eyes as my face is a blushing red, and say it with all the passion I have. I want you to realize how much I really love you.

The Chosen Boi: I am blushing Draco.

D Malfoy: Is that a bad or a good thing?

The Chosen Boi: Good.

The Chosen Boi: I’ve never felt better. What is it to you?

D Malfoy: One word can describe it, and that word is “indescribable”. I feel amazing.

The Chosen Boi: I’m so happy for that. I’ve been so nervous…

D Malfoy: So Harry, now that the confession thing is here and we know how we both feel, I have one last question to ask one, one that is extremely important to me.

The Chosen Boi: I am listening.

D Malfoy: Do you want to be my boyfriend?

 

…

 

Chat: Drarry on Ice!

Bookmione: So Ron, that is the basic of shipping, do you get it? Or do we have to explain some parts again. It’s okay if we have too, I didn’t really wrap my head around slash fiction or OT3s until after a second explanation.

RON: Yeah, I kinda get it. I think I’ll manage from now on.

RON: Now all the things you talked about makes much more sense. But you’ll still have to teach me more internet things later okay.

PanPark: FINALLY, HE UNDERSTANDS!

PanPark: GET SOME CHAMPAGNE, TIME TO CELEBRATE!

GinnyGirl: Yeah Ron, you finally start to sound a bit more like a teen that’s actually from this century :)

RON: Is that a compliment or are you mocking me?

To the Luna and back: I think she’s doing both. :?

Bookmione: Yeah, definitely both there.

RON: Okay, if you can stop mock me, are we gonna start with the plan soon or?

PanPark: Yeah I wanna start!

PanPark: The plan on sending them anonymous love songs and poems before we fix a date to them will be amazing. They are so gonna fall for each other, whenever they like it or not”

To the Luna and back: YAY :D

Bookmione: Yeah, so, shall we start.

GinnyGirl: Just a moment Mione, is everyone here?

To the Luna and back: I am. ^^

PanPark: Me too.

RON: I am here.

Bookmione: Yes.

(Silence for half a minute).

GinnyGirl: Where’s Blaise? We can’t start without him.

RON: Yeah, where is he?

Inibaz: GUYS

Inibaz: This is important!

PanPark: Blaise did something happen?

Inibaz: CHECK

Inibaz: YOUR

Inibaz: FACEBOOKS

Inibaz: NOW!!!

 

Facebook.

 

Harry Potter is now in a relationship with Draco Malfoy.

Albus Dumbledore, Sirius Black, Neville Longbottom, Remus Lupin and nineteen others liked this.

Sirius Black: You and the Malfoy kid Harry? Well, I didn’t know you were gay and didn’t expect you to end up with him of all people, but if you’re happy, then I’m glad. Congrats you too.

Nymphadora Tonks: CONGRATS GUYS!

Naricssa Malfoy: Draco, congratulations on your new relationship. Me and your father have suspected something like this for a while, and we would like to talk to you in the near future. Please call us sweety. Lucius and I are happy if this is who you feel comfortable with sharing your life with, and please tell Harry that he is welcome home to our manor anytime. You are our son and you are making us so proud for being who you are.

Albus Dumbledore: Congratulations to the new relationship, remember to have a safe relationship you too, and cherish one another. I remember when I got my first boyfriend back in the days :)

Albus Dumbledore: Also, here is a link to a nice slime tutorial video :D <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsgcYqQL1QQ>

Minerva McGonagall: What have I said about randomly posting slime videos in the comments _Albus Dumbledore_? Not everyone is into those videos as much as you are. Anyway, congratulations Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, I hope you two find happiness in each other.

Rita Skeeter: Congratulations to the young men. Mind if I make an article about this?

Nymphadora Tonks: NO DAMN ARTICLES _Rita Skeeter_! YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO WRITE THANKS TO THE EXTRA AUROR ORDER. WE KNOW YOUR SECRET YOU LITTLE BUG! AND HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE HARRY OR DRACO’S FACEBOOK ACCOUNT?

 

 

Chat: Drarry on ice!

GinnyGirl: OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED!!!

GinnyGirl: THEY ARE TOGETHER! THEY ARE ACTUALLY TOGETHER NOW!

To the Luna and back: (o.o)

Inibaz: ＼(^o^)／

Inibaz: WE DID IT. CANON GAY!

Bookmione: That went faster than I expected.

PanPark: I know, right Hermione?

PanPark: I am so happy and excited for them! :)

To the Luna and back: ME TOO! WE NEED TO ASK THEM EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!

PanPark: YEAH, THIS IS HUGE!

GinnyGirl: YEAH IT IS!

RON: Too bad we made up that huge plan when we didn’t even need it in the end though. I would have liked to go through with it, it sounded cool you guys.

PanPark: Yeah, that plan did sound fucking awesome.

PanPark: But let’s just be happy that they are together. They obviously look so happy together you guys.

Bookmione: It feels like we have accomplished something super big. This is amazing!

Bookmione: We got our otp together without even having to do anything.

To the Luna and back: Well Hermione, we did kind of do something. We did scare them away by talking about hot actors and who would be the best in playing them and all that.

To the Luna and back: I’m pretty sure they got extremely freaked out by that, but it worked :D

Inibaz: Yeah, that super weird thing made them go into a private chat, were they obviously talked to each other and confessed.

Bookmione: If this was a fanfiction, I bet some of the readers are currently freaking out because of all the cuteness that those two boys spread when they are close.

PanPark: Ditto.

RON: So, are we just gonna stand here and be happy about our matchmaking victory?

RON: Or are we actually going to talk to the guys? And ask about what happened between them?

GinnyGirl: Already on it Ron.

GinnyGirl added The Chosen Boi and D Malfoy to “Drarry on Ice!”.

D Malfoy: Okay what is this?

The Chosen Boi: What’s going on???

D Malfoy: Drarry on ice?

Inibaz: YOU GUYS BETTER TELL US EVERYTHING!

Bookmione: And by everything, we mean everything.

The Chosen Boi: Oh boy.


	5. Relationship Advice and Drarry Fluff

GinnyGirl added Bookmione to the chat.

GinnyGirl: HERMIONE!

GinnyGirl: MIONE!

GinnyGirl: Hermione Jean Granger!

GinnyGirl: For Merlin’s sake please actually answer. I see that you’re online. If you are doing your homework with that cat on you in your knees and ignore me on purpose then I’m gonna hex you into the next century. Hell, maybe even the next millennia.

GinnyGirl: Seriously it’s an emergency.

GinnyGirl: Mione…? :?

Bookmione: Sorry, I was mailing Dumbledore about something. What did you want help with?

GinnyGirl: You mailed Dumbledore?

Bookmione: Yeah?

GinnyGirl: Do you actually have his Hotmail? :O

Bookmione: Yeah. I mailed him and asked him to stop spamming Hogwarts’ Facebook page with all those damn slime tutorial videos. It makes us have a bad reputation, the Ilvermorny facebook page is tagging us in dumb memes about how weird our school stuff is now. Most of those memes are slime related of course, and Dumbledore just likes them, I think he can’t understand the irony in those.

GinnyGirl: Okay you are excused for not answering asap. Dumbledore ruining our school reputation with all his slime videos does take priority. You will not be hexed.

GinnyGirl: Today.

Bookmione: Good to know. What did you need help with anyway?

GinnyGirl: It’s… a love problem.

Bookmione: Ginny I understand that love is hard. I know Harry and you breaking up was hard, but he is with Draco now, and you were the one who wanted to match make them. Let them enjoy being boyfriends, I know it might hurt but your relationship is in the past and you will move on, it will get better. Getting over someone is extremely hard.

GinnyGirl: What?

GinnyGirl: Are you talking about?

Bookmione: Wait, this isn’t about Harry?

GinnyGirl: Nope.

Bookmione: Well congrats, do you need any help.

GinnyGirl: Yeah, love advice, I’m too afraid to make a move but it’s a little crush. Nothing serious yet, but it feels like if we dated that little crush could grow into something bigger. The thought of us loving each other in the future, it’s nice. Even if it’s just a tiny crush at the moment, you know what I mean?

Bookmione: Yeah I do, new crushes are absolutely the best. What’s the name of the lucky guy?

GinnyGirl: Eh…

GinnyGirl: About that.

GinnyGirl: It’s a girl actually.

Bookmione: A girl? I thought you were straight? Did I miss your coming out party or something? Also are you bi or gay or anything else?

GinnyGirl: It’s still pretty new to me, I have no fucking idea what my sexual orientation is, I have never been attracted to a girl before, only men. But Luna is special, she makes me smile when we talk, and we chat every day. A few days ago, she asked if I could brush her hair and I did, it was butterflies everywhere, she is so special and precious Mione. I want to be together with her more than anything, you got that? I am crushing so hard on her so I can’t explain it with words, it’s new but it feels like we were somehow meant to be together and all.

Bookmione: Luna? You’re crushing on Luna? :0

Bookmione: Luna Lovegood?!?!?

GinnyGirl: Yeah ^^

GinnyGirl: She is really cute but I’m so nervous and I have no idea of what to do. I feel like a total novice when it comes to love at the moment. I’m afraid that she’ll reject me, and that thing will be weird between us if I confess and she doesn’t like me back. I don’t want to lose her, she means so much to me, that Ravenclaw makes me smile every day with her personality and weird gadgets.

Bookmione: Awe that is sooooo cute! :D

Bookmione: You should totally ask her out!

Bookmione: You would look so cute together!

GinnyGirl: I really want too, but do you think she likes me back? I’m not sure if she does, and asking her would just give everything away way before I’m ready to confess. She is so, Luna, and all. I can’t tell. And I don’t know if she even likes girls in the first place, for all I know she could be to most heterosexual person in the universe.

Bookmione: I think she likes you. But there’s no guarantee. I may be smart, but that’s with books, not relationships. The closets I’ve gotten with those was Victor Krum, and now when I’m older I realize it wasn’t really that good, that age difference you know. It doesn’t make a difference when you’re older but I had just turned fifteen, I met him for the first time at fourteen, and he was seventeen.

GinnyGirl: Yeah… :(

Bookmione: You know, you could talk to Neville about this.

GinnyGirl: Neville?  
GinnyGirl: OH RIGHT NEVILLE!

GinnyGirl: He is like Luna’s best friend at the entirety of Hogwarts. I bet that if someone knows about who Luna is crushing on, then it’s him. They hang out for so many hours every day, it’s almost unhealthy. How didn’t I think of this before? Thanks Hermione you’re the best! <3 <3 <3

Bookmione: I’m just glad to be of help. Crushes and relationships are the best and I want you to be happy, we’re friends after all.

GinnyGirl: Yeah.

GinnyGirl: Anyway I’ll talk to you later. See you ^^

GinnyGirl: But if this doesn’t work you better hide because then me hexing you is back on, got that?

GinnyGirl left the chat.

Bookmione: I hope this works and she doesn’t get turned down. I’d have to hide for years from an angry Weasley…

Bookmione: I better make a plan for me and Crookshanks to escape.

Bookmione: Wait will she be able to see that if I add her again?

Bookmione: Fuck.

(Yes she would be able to read it, so she did the only thing to those three messages to herself that she could think of. Using ctrl + alt + delete on some lines of text).

_Bookmione deleted a message._

_Bookmione deleted a message._

_Bookmione deleted a message._

_Bookmione deleted a message._

Bookmione: Much better :))

Bookmione: …

Bookmione: Wait if she sees that she’ll just wonder what I deleted in the first place.

Bookmione: I’ll just blame everything disappearing on a glitch.

Bookmione: And why am I talking to myself like if someone is actually reading this when I am clearly alone?

Bookmione: I need a break, it’s like this is a weird fanfiction.

Bookmione: Ctrl+alt+delete conversation.

_Conversation between Bokmione and GinnyGirl not found._

Bookmione logged out.

 

GinnyGirl added Neville LB to the chat.

GinnyGirl changed the chat name to “Help me with my love life Nev”.

GinnyGirl: NEVILLE!

GinnyGirl: HELLO!

GinnyGirl: I NEED YOUR HELP ASAP!

GinnyGirl: WHERE ARE YOU!?!?

Neville LB: Oh hi Ginny! :D

Neville LB: Didn’t expect to get a message from you today. Sorry if it took some time, I recently got back from the greenhouses and feed the plants with Madame Sprout and the two headed goatplant were ready for milking its pepper essence. I couldn’t really stop halfway, you know how angry those plants can be, I did not want to get some skin torn away, have you seen their teeth?

GinnyGirl: Oh Neville you Herbelogy nerd.

GinnyGirl: But yeah I can understand that, those plants are terrifying while they’re angry. But I’m glad you like it, Herbelogy is your best subject, right? Like you’re the best in the entire school?

Neville LB: Yeah I kinda am but don’t go around and say that. I don’t want it to look like I’m bragging, especially when I’m lacking in literally every other subject at this school. It’s a wonder if I even pass the N.E.W.T.S this year. I barely passed the O.W.L’s in my fifth year, they were a pest. It’s a wonder I wasn’t held back.

GinnyGirl: You can do it dude, you’re awesome and you are really trying your best, unlike some people who just slack and doesn’t care. You might not get the best results but what matters is that you are really trying to improve. Like your defense again the dark arts have gotten really good, you can produce a non-corporeal patronus.

Neville LB: Thanks for saying that, it warms my heart. :)

Neville LB: It’s nice to know that atleast someone believes in me, even though it’s obvious that I am extremely clumsy and forgetful. That’s why I like working with herbs, it’s a different kind of subject you know.

GinnyGirl: It’s fine Nev, you’re one of my best friends after all. And if working with herbs is your calling, then I totally think you should go for it dude. Who knows, you could even become to new Herbelogy teacher once we’ve graduated, you’d get that spot before you even asked for it.

Neville LB: Well thanks but I don’t think I’m _that_ good.

GinnyGirl: Are you kidding me? You’re the best herbelogy wizard I’ve ever seen, you’re more than good enough. Just believe in yourself and don’t listen to what others say, if they say dumb things they’re just jealous.

GinnyGirl: Anyway, do you have any idea on how to impress Luna?

GinnyGirl: I kinda crush on her, but don’t tell her that. I’m too shy and would like your help.

Neville LB: You’re crushing on Luna? :O

Neville LB: Omg so exciting.

Neville LB: What do you wanna know?

GinnyGirl: Everything.

Neville LB: Okay, but it’ll take a while.

GinnyGirl: I’m okay with that, tell me everything.

Neville LB: Okay, we’ll begin with her favorite things.

 

\- TIME SKIP -

 

Harry nervously sat in the great hall. It was almost completely empty and he was doing his charms homework, a two feet long essay about how to get better at spells and make nonverbal spells not drain your energy. It was kind of hard, but he would come around. Thank god that they lived in the age of technology, wizards had their own internet server where you could google magic things. Imagine how hard life would have been if you would have to look through hundreds of books for one single sentence of important information?

Well, the essay was due next week and he didn’t want to do it last minute, then Hermione would be pissed at him again, and a mad Hermione was a scary Hermione, he had known her for seven years so he knew that for sure.

There was only about five other people in the great hall, which wasn’t a huge surprise, since dinner wouldn’t been for another few hours. Harry liked the empty great hall though, it was quite and big, it was a really nice study place.

So here he was, sitting here on a Saturday alone, doing his homework like a good student.

He couldn’t wait until he was actually done with that thing, he could spend the afternoon watching some YouTube, or stream the latest quidditch match with his pals.

Or he could hang out with Draco.

Draco…

Just the thought of his boyfriend made him turn deep red. The blush made him feel warm as he thought about his blond hair, ice gray eyes and that gorgeous smile of his.

Wow he had been lucky to score such an amazing boyfriend like him, he never thought they’d actually get together. It was like his biggest dream had come true, and so it was. Every time he was around Draco his heartbeat sped up and he began shaking while his head moved towards the clouds. And every time they kissed, time itself stopped as electric sparks violently ran through Harry’s entire body, the best sensation he had ever experienced. The Slytherin boy was like a drug for him He could spend the entire day thinking about everything he loved about Draco, that gorgeous wizard.

Yes, once he finished his homework he would definitely go to Draco, they hadn’t seen each other in person since yesterday’s Defense against the dark arts class, that was almost 24 hours ago, and then they had been in two different sides of the classroom.

He already thought about holding his hand.

They could go on a walk around the castle and then hang out in the courtyard. He could pluck flowers for Draco and they could act like a cheesy movie couple from the fifties.  Yes that would be goals.

Then they could just sit on a bench and cuddle, he loved when his head relaxed against Draco’s cozy shoulders. Holding each other’s hands, giving each other light kisses that caused both of them to blush.

Draco was so dreamy.

He took a deep breath and continued to write his essay for a few more minutes. The hand moved as he dripped is quill in ink and wrote down everything on a parchment. Hogwarts were currently debating about switching handing in things from parchments to Word Documents and email, but it wasn’t decided yet. The whole school hoped they would be able to mail in essays and things though, since that was way less time consuming that writing with actual ink that could stain things really easily. And you easily got cramps holding the quill.

He wrote a few more sentences, dropped the quill in the ink and wrote one more, accidently spilling a big drop in the corner. Yes give the students word documents, the teachers always complained about the ink stains.

He yawned as he put the quill down, his hand hurt so he thought he deserved a few minutes long break before he began writing again. If he didn’t relax then his handwriting would just become weird and hard to read, so he was doing his teacher a favor.

He moved his hand across the table and grabbed his iPhone, it had been vibrating a few minutes earlier but he hadn’t checked since he studier. So now he felt like he could check it.

He pressed the home button and the screen lit up.

His favorite youtuber had posted a video, he had gotten 52 new likes on his latest Instagram picture, and he had one missed message.

Draco <3 (17 minutes ago): Hey babe. I’m done with homework. Where are you?

He opened the message app and answered.

My number: I’m in the great hall, almost finished with my charms essay. Join me?

Draco <3: I’m on my way.

Draco <3: :)

Harry put his phone down and took up his quill again, all while having the biggest smile ever one his pale face.

His amazing boyfriend would be down here in a few minutes, sitting here beside him while he studied. He couldn’t think of anything better than that to be honest. Just feeling Draco’s presence was calming and Harry wouldn’t want it any other way. Draco was everything and always managed to make everything in the world better.

He bit his lip, not realizing it as he wrote on his parchment.

He barely understood what exactly he was writing down since Draco was the only think on his mind (not a surprise) and when you thought about the best thing that ever happened to you, the essay became less of a priority in your brain.

Emotions and love bet brains and studying, always.

He took a deep breath and wrote down a few more sentences, getting a little bit into the essay again, so he didn’t notice when a tall blond figure entered the great hall, along with his fast footsteps.

Draco sneaked up and a second later Harry squealed as he had someone’s hands on his face, playfully covering his eyes. He relaxed a second later once he actually realized who it was.

“Missed me Potter?”, Draco asked as he removed his hands and sat down beside Harry and the Gryffindor table (you could sit at whatever table you wanted when it wasn’t lunch or a ceremony and similar). He had that huge smirk that just screamed Draco for miles.

Harry nodded.

“Of course I did, what guy would I be if I didn’t miss my boyfriend?”, he said.

Draco leaned in closer and Harry felt how to temperature in the room rose by atleast fifty degrees as his heart began to beat faster every second.

“I like to hear that”.

Draco pressed his lips on Harry’s forehead as his long fingers played with Harry’s black, messy hair. Then he gave Harry a light and cheerful peck on his lips, it lasted a second, but it felt like a little eternity between the two of them.

As they parted they looked into each other’s eyes and they were hooked. Shining emerald green meeting a shade of cold ice gray, sparks flew between them as they got red.

“Your eyes are bloody gorgeous, I’ve never seen anything like it”, Draco said, hypnotized by Harry’s beauty.

Yes, Harry wasn’t the only one of the two that got hypnotized. They had each other in a never ending spell of emotions.

A good spell.

“You’re the gorgeous one Draco, have you ever looked yourself in a mirror. I could get lost in your eyes…”.

Both of them blushed and bit their lips, they were quiet for a while. They didn’t need words to explain what they felt, so while Harry was working with his essay he had Draco’s warm body against his own, and his head was on his shoulder. The smell of his blond hair was amazing, and Harry’s free hand was in one of Draco’s.

He loved to study with Draco there, he felt so comfortable and more secure.

With his boyfriend there, it felt like he could do anything in the entire world. And he probably could with that determination.

The quill worked on the parchment and the he let out a sigh of victory as it got the length of two feet. He was done and put down the quill.

“Wanna go for a walk with me?”, Harry asked and Draco nodded, and leaned in and gave him a sweet kiss on his tender lips.

“I’ll do anything if you’re with me”.

Laugh.  
“God that was so cheesy, I fucking love you”.

And so they got up from the table, took each other’s hands and began walking, they were going to the courtyard, and they were going to have such an amazing time.

 

-Back to Ginny and Neville -

 

Neville LB: So, that’s basically all you need to know. To get the best result, send her chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate.

GinnyGirl:  Thank you so much Neville, I’m so thankful for everything.

GinnyGirl: With your one month plan to win her heart, I feel so more more confident, like me and Luna actually can become a thing! <3

Neville LB: I’m just glad I was able to help. :)

Neville LB: I really hope she likes you too, you’d be a really nice couple, I just imagine you to brightening up the entire school the same way Harry and Draco does. That relationship is so pure.

GinnyGirl: I hope it’ll be like that too.

GinnyGirl: So I’ll start dropping hints to Luna later today, and tomorrow I’ll bring a chocolate bar with me and ask her if she want half on the break because I’m “full”. Then we “accidentally” walk out the the flower courtyard, that place is so romantic. We don’t stay there, just walk through like it was a total accident.

Neville LB: Good luck to you!

GinnyGirl: Thanks pal! <333

 


	6. Dumbledore's Addiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, it's finally here, the next chapter. It is way harder writing chat logs than you think, especially when you have writers block for this specific fic.

The Chosen Boi added Bookmione and RON to the group.

The Chosen Boi renamed the group ”meme”.

The Chosen Boi: Sup

Bookmione: Not much.

Bookmione: I just finished our charms homework and now I’m taking a short internet break before I begin with my defense against the dark arts essay.

Bookmione: How about you?

RON: Hermione isn’t the due date for the essay in a month?

RON: There’s not that much to learn about defending yourself against rabid twonicorns.

The Chosen Boi: Ron…

RON: What?

Bookmione: That essay was due last week. We have a new one about all the different types of counter spells to magic diseases with memory loss and how to prevent it before it’s too late, and what the best way is the knock out the wizards who tried to cast it on you without getting you too much attention and an unnecessary duel.

RON: WHAT

RON: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!?!

The Chosen Boi: Last week, but to be fair I think you were sick that day.

The Chosen Boi: But still you should probably turn that essay in before Snape gets mad and gives you a T or something.

RON: Bloody hell I can’t afford a T. Not when I’m taking N.E.W.Ts

Bookmione: None of us can.

Bookmione: Or else we’ll end up selling scummy potions in Knockturn Alley.

RON: Hell no

The Chosen Boi: Yeah, who wanna do that if they have a choice? I’d rather be an auror, from what I’ve heard it’s an amazing and cool job. And I may actually have the chance to help people or contribute to the Wizarding World with something that isn’t political or an office job at a department, even though we need more people in the departments that actually knows a thing about muggles.

Bookmione: Agreed.

Bookmione: I think I’m going to enlist in the ministry. I don’t know exactly with what yet, but it will probably be something related to muggles or better rights for magical creatures like house elves, and better understandings of squibs and muggles.

Bookmione: I’m also considering a position where I can change a few things, like pure blood wizards need to be educated about muggles, because if wizards get revealed, it’s probably there fault for being uneducated and reckless, like how Ron once screamed in a telephone. Like, muggle studies should be mandatory for purebloods and halfbloods that didn’t grow up in the wizarding world.

RON: Hey the telephone thing was an accident!

RON: I had never used a phone in my entire life back then

RON: And I’m better with muggle tech now so I would not do the same mistake again

RON: But dad might

Bookmione: Yeah, we need to teach him about that.

The Chosen Boi: Agreed. During the holidays.

RON: Good idea Harry. Hermione’s parents are going to France and you won’t be going to the Dursleys, we can all teach dad.

The Chosen Boi: Well actually…

Bookmione: Actually what?

Bookmione: You’re not going home to your so called “family”, are you?

RON: ???

The Chosen Boi: Oh hell no!

The Chosen Boi: But I’m spending the first week of school at Draco’s. We’ve already made plans and it’s decided. But I will be at the Weasley’s after that, so then I can help teach Mr Weasley.

RON: You’re going to Draco’s?

The Chosen Boi: Yeah

Bookmione: Nice, that you have plans, but it’s the end of October, isn’t it too early to plan?

The Chosen Boi: You can never be too early.

RON: True dat

RON: But how did Draco even convince his dad to let you stay?

Bookmione: Yeah I’m wondering that too.

The Chosen Boi: Well it was actually pretty easy. His dad was just relieved that he has stopped nagging about me 24/7. So he’s actually kinda supportive of us being together, he doesn’t have to hear Draco whine anymore, so he saw that kind of as a win, since he can spend more time on his work than repeating “yes” all over again.

The Chosen Boi: His words, not mine.

The Chosen Boi: It’s actually quite funny. I laughed my ass off when Draco told me.

The Chosen Boi: And his mom’s nice too. She sent me an owl telling me that she is glad that her son has found someone. She had been convinced that he would never date and would grow old alone. She’s really nice, and she was actually the one owling and asking if I wanted to spend Christmas at the Malfoy Manor so many months in advance. But their house owl isn’t as nice, Hedwig scared him away after he tried to claw the letter into pieces and then flew into my food.

RON: damn

RON: I would never have guessed that

The Chosen Boi: Yeah me too.

The Chosen Boi: It was a really nice surprise. You should have seen Draco’s face when he found out about that too, he was so happy.

Bookmione: Seriously you guys are the dream couple everyone dreams about in their teens, no joke.

The Chosen Boi: Meh I wouldn’t brag like that.

Bookmione: You should.

RON: Yeah Harry

RON: You two are the school’s otp

RON: Did I say that right Hermione?

Bookmione: Yes you did Ron. But we’re not having another super long talk about shipping and OTPS, okay. It’s getting repetitive.

Bookmione: Google it if you want more info.

The Chosen Boi: Why are you shipping us?

The Chosen Boi: We’re real people. Isn’t shipping for fictional characters.

Bookmione: Oh boy.

Bookmione: Harry, search for Larry Stylison, that is an example of a real life ship.

Bookmione: It exists.

Bookmione: Oh it exists.

The Chosen Boi: Okay I’m googling it atm.

The Chosen Boi: Oh so THAT is what that ship stands for. Those two guys in that overly popular boyband.

The Chosen Boi: It doesn’t look so bad.

The Chosen Boi: No

The Chosen Boi: NOOO

Bookmione: Harry are you okay????

The Chosen Boi: ABORT MISSION!!!!!!

RON: What happened?

The Chosen Boi: Porn.

The Chosen Boi: Porn happened.

RON: WHAT???

Bookmione: I’m so sorry Harry.

Bookmione: I guess you clicked on the “image” tab and scrolled down a bit.

RON: Wait that’s on google?

The Chosen Boi: Yes Ron.

The Chosen Boi: Sadly.

The Chosen Boi: Never google irl ships, promise me that. And absolutely NEVER check the google image tab if you want to keep being sane. You’ll lose your youth and happiness.

RON: I trust you Harry

RON: I haven’t even seen it but I’m terrified.

Bookmione: You should be.

RON: I’m gonna install a safe search on my google asap.

RON: Mione do you know how to?

The Chosen Boi: I need holy water.

Bookmione: Ron I’m in your dorm in five minutes. I will also give you an antivirus because one wrong click on some yaoi can fuck your computer up.

_Bookmione left the conversation._

RON: I’m even more scared now

The Chosen Boi: Don’t lose your innocence Ron. Listen to Mione.

 

Dumbly added Minerva M and SevSnape to the chat.

Dumbly renamed the chat “Slime bois”.

SevSnape: No.

_SevSnape left the conversation._

SevSnape logged out.

Dumbly: Hey >:O

Dumbly: WHY…? He was so young.

Minerva M: Eh, sir? What exactly are you doing?

Dumbly: I wanted to chat about slime and send some tutorial videos and just have a nice time, but Severus decided to leave before I even had the time to show him all of the fun slime making actually is. It’s a true art form Minerva, it feels like he just insulted me personally and hurt my feelings by leaving like that. So ungrateful, not knowing true art. Nothing beats slime making tutorials.

Minerva M: Sir, has it ever occurred to you not maybe not everyone are as attached to slime making tutorials as you are? I’m pretty sure Severus would be one of those people who doesn’t find anything special with slime.

Dumbly: Yes I know Minerva but WHY?

Dumbly: What exactly caused people to not like slime making tutorials?

Minerva M: Not everyone likes slime tutorials, it’s that simple sir.

Dumbly: BUT MINERVA

Dumbly: Anyway I’ve made a playlist for you with some of my favorite slime videos on youtube :)

Dumbly: h ttps / / fakeyoutubelink44949/slime . com

Dumbly: Here you go?

Minerva M: Merlin’s beard!

Minerva M: This playlist is over three thousand hours long!

Minerva M: How did you even manage to find these many?

Minerva M: And this is just SOME of your favorites???

Dumbly: Yes Minerva, I’ve got many more.

Minerva M: How have you even had time for all of this Albus? How many have you seen in total???

Minerva M: Never mind. I don’t think I actually want to know the answer to that question, I’m afraid.

Dumbly: You shouldn’t be. Just relax and make some slime.

Dumbly: I made a playlist for Severus as well, but he seems to have blocked me, so could you please send it to him from me?

Minerva M: Sure.

Dumbly: Thanks Minerva.

Minerva M: Don’t mention it.

Dumbly: ht tps/ /fakeyoutubelinkagain94847fw8meme/slime . com

Dumbly: This list is a bit shorter, only about two thousand hours, but I know Severus has a lot less free time than you.

Minerva M: Not even a man that spends 100 % of the day at a pc has enough time for this Albus. Have you gotten enough sleep?

Dumbly: Sure. Yesterday I ended my Sunday with a nice book and a cup of tea, followed by eight hours of sleep if you must ask. I’m completely find this lovely Monday. :)

Minerva M: Albus…

Dumbly: What?

Minerva M. It’s not Monday. It’s Friday today.

Dumbly: Ooops, my bad.

Dumbly: I guess I haven’t slept in a few days after all, I didn’t really notice or realize it, the slime videos were too good. But I’ll go to bed tonight, I need to watch a few things first that I’ve got in my “watch later” tab.

Minerva M: No Albus.

Minerva M: No more procrastination. You are going to sleep now.

Dumbly: But I’ve got lot of things to do.

Minerva M: No buts. You need to go to sleep, or I’m unplugging the castle wifi.

Dumbly: :O

Dumbly: You wouldn’t…

Minerva M: Oh yes I would. This is for your health, you are way too addicted to the internet and need a break from it.

Dumbly: NO!

Minerva M: Yes. Yes you need to break this habit, now. You don’t have a choice in this Albus Dumbledore. This, or no wifi ever again, you choice.

Dumbly: You monster.

Dumbly: You witch!

Minerva M: Yes Albus, I am a witch, thank you for reminding me of that, even though I was already pretty aware of that fact. Because well, a teacher at a school for witchcraft and wizardry sometimes forget that they’re a witch, isn’t it like that all the time?

Minerva M: Now go to sleep or I’ll hide the router and you’ll never see that precious wifi of yours ever again. I am not joking.

Dumbly: Okay I’ll listen and go to bed.

Dumbly: But please don’t hurt the wifi.

Minerva M: Fine…

Minerva M: But if I find out you’re not sleeping then you’re in trouble.

 

Meanwhile

 

The Chosen Boi: Anyway, have you seen Dumbledore recently?

Bookmione: No, actually. I haven’t seen him in the great hall in literal days.

RON: Yeah, it’s strange.

The Chosen Boi: Oh so I’m not the only one noticing it.

The Chosen Boi: But where is he?

RON: I have not freaking idea, it was like he just simply disappeared from Earth or something. It’s like he never was at Hogwarts in the first place.

Bookmione: Yes Ron, it’s so strange.

Bookmione: I wonder what he’s doing.

RON: Probably some important headmaster stuff.

The Chosen Boi: Yeah Ron.

The Chosen Boi: There got to be a good reason for him not being there, so it must be really important.


	7. HIATUS/AUTHOR’S NOTE

Hello everyone, it’s Keith here.

I am going to take a break from everything related to the Harry Potter fandom, I don’t know how long, or if I’ll ever come back to writing for it again.

Harry Potter was a big part of my childhood, I grew up with the magic, but I cannot stand even thinking about the series any longer, thanks to the author.

JK Rowling have several times after the series ended said things like “there’s lots of lgbt+ students at Hogwarts” and “of course there Jewish/muslim student there”, while never addressing it in the book. It is clearly she is only making those up to get more attention.

That however, is not the reason I’m leaving to fandom for an unknown amount of time.

Jk Rowling have liked several transphobic tweets were trans women are referred to as “men in dresses” and those tweets have a highly negative tone, and the tweets accusing trans women awareness is misogyny.

As a trans man, I will not just stand by and hear those things, I am deeply offended and hurt by a woman I used to look up too. I can’t lpok up to someone who don’t take my trans-sisters seriously.

We trans people are facing enough discrimination as it is, and I’m not going to promote a transphobic author.

To all trans women she might have offended and hurt, I’m here for you. From a fellow trans brothers you deserve to feel accepted and safe.


End file.
